THERE’S A CRACK IN EVERYTHING, THAT’S HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN —Leonard Cohen
Back in 2013, when I found myself with no idea where I was going to live,
going through yet another breakup, after yet another dance with a boyfriend who didn’t have my best interest at heart (it was a pattern, what can I say?? 😏) ,
I thought to myself, “ok, that’s it. I better get ready for a time of total depletion, devastation, and living without.”
Then $4,982.65 came through on my PayPal from a woman who had been following me online for years and couldn’t wait to work with me.
Right before that all I saw was my Facebook posts with barely any likes or engagement, hardly any traffic on my website, and nobody at all contacting me about my business or services.
So, exactly as it’s meant to, as soon as that woman connected to me, saying she valued my service enough to purchase one of my highest investment level services, the light bore through the crack and illuminated the thing causing me to get to the experience of homelessness in the first place: a deep feeling of unworthiness within me.
I then had two choices: continue to buy into, agree with, and live according to this mood state of unworthiness that had infiltrated my inner being for years (as I always had before this light shone in, it was all I knew)
Do something different. Pay attention to the light that still shines in, even when we’re in our deep dark mood places of depression, anxiety, feeling unworthy, worry or extreme terror (common with survivors of continuous/severe trauma).
I chose to open to the light. See where it led. Surrender my old way, even though it felt scary to let go of what I had only ever known, like an old favourite food that gave me emotional comfort during traumatic times but never did any good for my overall health and well being.
I’m sharing this because I know we’re all experiencing a lot right now, ranging from mild ‘what if’s’ to horrifying thoughts of future apocalypse.
And who knows what will happen, really. This is 100% a time of uncertainty—but what we can choose to know and remember right now is the only thing that is CERTAIN, never-changing:
The light is always here. Always!
And it so naturally pours through the cracks of darkness….it’s what it does…and always will do…NO MATTER WHAT.
The question is: will you look?
Will you sit silent enough, face whats within, clear whatever energy inside that is tempting you not to see and take it in, so you can receive the love that’s just waiting to pour into you, in many different forms—even. right. now. AT SUCH A TIME AS THIS?
My homelessness lasted just a blip of time when I said yes and acted accordingly. I was scared, had no idea what was in store for me, but I served that woman who served as my light in those moments of darkness with everything I had, and the connection lifted us both up, to new heights, connecting us to a deep deep knowing that it’s always the way it’s meant to be! The growth, the uplifting, the amazement and moments of JOY, together = dancing in the rain, no matter what is going on around us.
So yes, it’s a time of adjustment. Re-allocating resources, aligning even deeper than ever before to people we were always meant to do life with, our true tribe—across the Internet for now as it may be, and most of all, strengthening our INNER YES to thriving in the light, as we were always meant to, no matter what!