I wanted to share my personal life story with the world *so bad* but couldn’t understand whyI just didn’t JUST DO IT🤷🏻♀️😕🤷🏻♀️
My desire to share was literally fire hot 🔥 🔥 🔥
I wanted it more than anything….
I KNEW I was meant for it …
🤷🏻♀️ I just couldn’t
🤷🏻♀️ or I just wouldn’t
🤷🏻♀️ or who really knew why I didn’t ?!?!
Then when living like an imposter, by not sharing my story according to what my soul was telling me was a major part of my life’s blueprint,
when that life got to be SO MUCH strife and split energy, that feeling of living like two different people,
I started numbing out my body with:
💔 dramatic relationships that were so painful and noisy, I never had a chance to live quiet enough to hear that soul truth ever again (=that part of me not wanting to hear it was winning!!), and
💊 pharmaceuticals for whatever would supposedly help what my doctor happen to label my “problem” as.
None of it helped, not in the long game, because the only reason I was doing ANY of it was: I had turned away from my soul.
I knew, after all, I’d heard it LOUD AND CLEAR that I was meant to be a woman who gave others hope by sharing my story of overcoming, there was no question.
I was just too scared to do it. I didn’t know how. I was terrified of what others would think of me. I was afraid of the shame I would be forced to live in if I did share with the world that I had weighed 300 pounds back in 2008, after working on Canada’s second largest murder case in my career.
✅ YESS it came in as a flash of knowing, so quick I could have easily missed it—but I didn’t.
I heard, loud and clear, that I was meant to share my entire journey: how I let my life become so unmanageable that I isolated myself and let my work be the only thing that mattered, shutting my body’s needs up along the way…
I heard it loud and clear while I was going through it “take care of yourself, quit this job it’s too much” 😩
Then, after I went through and came out still healthy on the other side, the message became “share this, share this now, people need to know that they can get through hardship and trauma too, through your story!!!”
but I just turned away….I told my body to shut up, again. This time, instead of “Here have a Twinkie” it was “here watch Netflix until you’re a zombie”
I just needed to do *anything but* hear the calling on my life once again, because deep down, I didn’t want to listen. I was way too afraid of it all ….
…at the same time, STILL KNOWING DIAMOND CLEAR, that it was meant to be the way for me in this lifetime. It was meant to be, my way.
🙄 🙄 🙄 And just like staying in a romantic relationship for way too long past the time it didn’t feel right, I knew this feeling wasn’t going to go away.
I had to either choose to allow myself to do what I was born to do, OR live with imposter discomfort.
I would never lie about how scary this process was, it IS scary…but the truth is, when you really step in, commit all the way and show you mean it with your actions (vs just words or rah rah talk about what you’re planning on doing someday) that fear only last for a minute….then you’re on the other side.
🏔💦 It’s EXACTLY jumping off a cliff. You stand on the edge in total terror, for however long you choose to stand there, then when you actually jump, and you’re in the beautiful aquamarine lagoon at the bottom, with the sun on your body, feeling refresh, you wonder why you didn’t jump faster, why you waited so long …
Those whispers and nudges won’t go away, Love….quiet as they are, they really are like lightening ⛈
💥💥💥The rain and thunder are loud all around it in your life storms, sure, but this message from your soul telling you you’re meant to share, this lightening, is quiet as nothing —and it will slice your life open in the middle of trying to live that numbed out imposter life,
This is a good thing! It’s soul lightening with power enough to kill everything dead that no longer serves your life…
….those things that hurt you and hurt me by having too much momentum in the direction of not listening and living according to, what we already know, because soul told us.
So here’s what I’ve learned being on the other side:
✅ the only reason we don’t listen is because of fear, we haven’t yet tuned into the LOVE of it, the very loving, very powerful reason we are meant to share our stories = to love others with it ❤️
✅always always ALWAYS listen to those lightening clear soul moments, and I mean *obey* them, without question
✅the longer you wait to obey, the more strife you’ll live in
And yesss….teetering in spiritual bypass land, as you do, when you’re making our way into living in full alignment with your soul’s direction,
you’ll find that you DO wait, you wait a long time sometimes, in the strife,
*not* choosing the easiest, fastest, MOST FUN path (which soul always takes us to if we only just withstand that couple seconds of fear before we jump),
instead choosing to learn things along the way while you wait, knowing truly that everything really is OK as you wait—then…
That’s when you can ask yourself, right now, if you find yourself in any form of waiting, you can ask yourself the only question left to ask:
Am I ok with living with ok?
PS…If you’re ready to explore how to live in MORE THAN OK my writing group starts tomorrow! I’m showing you exactly how to create the *steady* habit of tuning into and honouring and obeying soul, every single day, with short half hour lives, in which you’ll actually practice my powerful journalling techniques with me and the others who’ve already joined. *THIS GROUP IS FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN* Just click here for more detail and to save your spot now ✍️💓 https://woohooitsdone.com/membership/