If you’ve worked in the corporate world you’ll know what I mean….
😫🤪😫🤪 I just wanted to grab her and shake her (that chained part of me) right out of her cage.
When I finally left my job to start my own business, I wanted to scream every time she popped in and out of my energy: “STOP with the stepford entrepreneur routine already!!”
💛💜💚💙❤️ we cant help it, I get it. We want to feel safe. We want to not think, just for a second. We want someone else to take the wheel once in a while because we want to RELAX … of course we do!!!
This “her” I’m talking about is an older version of me, though, who was programmed for no moments of relaxing, just work work work (gotta pay those bills) – that part of me kept me trapped and encaged in situations I couldn’t stand.
Like showing up to “work” that exhausted me, wearing bland “work suits” speaking like a robot, saying what they wanted me to say, acting how they wanted me to act, forever covering up, muffling, hiding true me.
I wore those corporate outfits like straight jackets, when every day, all I really wanted to do? Was rip her open.
Stop valuing their system, their way of doing life, how they see things over mine, me, ME… what I knew inside could be my system, my way of doing things, how I saw things, if I would only let it 🧡
Stop trying to fit in somewhere I don’t even like, deep down respect, or actually want to become – again, of the time I was just there to make money, to pay bills…that kept me chained 99.9% of the time.
I had to release those money fears.
Release the fear that I wouldn’t know what to do, how to handle things, that I wouldn’t make it, if I branched out onto my own.
“Don’t do it,” she said.
“Don’t veer too much that way,
you’ll stick out,
people will knock you down, hard.
🤔 🤔 🤔 but something about being fully truly me didn’t feel right. It felt like a lie I had accidentally swallowed, like taking the wrong pill.
The part of me that KNEW I could do it was losing her wobble, was releasing her pattern of collapsing into anyone and anything I interpreted as more powerful than me (more lies).
💥 The second I realized what was happening, I let out a scream for the ages, cried on the forest floor, as I do every time gutteral, visceral change happens,
then I kneeled down before her
told her “You did what you came to do, you can go now.”
and I was free.