Women who’ve been through trauma often choose the cage….I know because I was one of them.
It felt safer there. I didn’t know how to manage the *one thing* that comes with the freedom of cageless life, that, in a world of “you can have it all” memes, very few people are talking about: *PRESSURE*
🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ It’s what made me collapse and run back to my cage, every time.
I didn’t know how to manage the pressure that goes along with freedom.
I wasn’t friends with it, I barely ever even looked it in the eyes.
Deep down I was terrified of dealing with any extra pressure, because every time I tried, I’d end up feeling more exhausted, more discombobulated, more worried, more stressed than ever.
THEN the most uncomfortable sensation that went along with caged life for me: not trusting myself.
😑 Not trusting myself to put food on my table, consistently. No matter what.
😑 Not trusting myself to face the unknown in every new day, with confidence, with full access to my resourcefulness.
😑 Most of all, not trusting myself to enact and uphold my own protection around me, so I could see those bars making up my former sense of protection, THAT CAGE, for what they were: a false sense of safety and security.
… because PTSD is all about safety, right?
And women with PTSD symptoms can’t take care of themselves, they can’t keep themselves safe and thriving, right?
They’re helpless and doomed, right?
So so so SO wrong.
Our power lies in taking healing into our own hands. Realizing that not everybody’s PTSD looks the same, not everybody’s healing pace follows a medical textbook path.
Realizing that what doctors or anyone around us “know” about PTSD or anything else, isn’t even close to what we know, in our souls.
✨ self-knowing is a power nobody can touch ✨
—and it remains in tact, in full integrity, when we stop handing it off to others, which only takes a second of our time to quit doing.
✋ stop giving them (government, romantic partners, family, friends, clients, anyone) the keys to a cage that, deep down, we don’t really want to be living in.
Because deep down? We know the truth:
That we’re just a little (or a lot) scared, and we don’t want to be alone.
the cage is not real, AND
we are way more powerful than we think: we can more than handle this and any other kind of pressure life blasts our way.
We can learn whatever emotional intelligence, empowered communication, survival, or protection skills we gotta learn, to have our outside life reflect that unstoppable inner resilience that has us living exactly how we want to be living right now.
Nobody else’s paw prints which we have to seek permission from all over our lives.