The Dark Side of That Term ‘Abusive’ + How It Affects Our Money

This might be a tricky blog entry to write, but what’s coming through my heart right now, needs to be spoken, for women who are struggling with PTSD symptoms who are not in immediate crisis or physical danger.

I repeat, this is for women who are not in immediate crisis or physical danger. Please skip to the note at the end of this blog entry if you need crisis support right now ♥️ 

In case you don’t know my story, I experienced an attack when I was a teenager, that nearly killed me. This attack was at the hands of our high school football team quarterback, who was supposed to be my boyfriend.

I also witnessed domestic violence against the women I adored growing up, which as led me to a lifetime of healing myself and healing others, to lift the frequency of the planet on this topic.

This word “abusive” has gotten in my own way at times, especially when I was at crucial precipices in my healing, where I was ready to lay down the swords of this domestic violence legacy, but couldn’t because of my own thought patterns, which I didn’t know how to deal with for the longest time.

So I’m writing about this today to meet that need, for my sisters who can relate. For my sisters who need this right now! 

That Word “Abuse”

There are times when we are abused, when we are victimized. This is not what this article is about.

As a Success Coach who loves calling myself and like-hearted women on similar paths as me, to more in life – the most actually: the most fun, peace and abundance we could ever experience here on planet earth – I am always going to call things as they are.

Here’s the truth: this word is being over-used today. It’s causing harm to women who are more than ready to BURST into their greatest potential and financial power, by holding them back from deeper healing and connections with both masculine energy (which we need to be friends with to manifest money) and the incredible men in this world who actually want to support us, be powerful for and with us – but for all this demonizing they’re experiencing!

The Problem With Demonizing

You can’t have a left without a right. An up without a down. Success without failure.

This is because we live in a polarity universe. There is always an opposite energy to the energy we are existing in. 

This is known as the law of polarity, or more casually “the law of opposites.”

Demonizing something, like a man, then, means that we are making ourselves angelic, or all good, and them, all bad. 

Purposely embodying the energy at the opposite end of our pole, when we want to change the energy we are living with, is a powerful way to utilize polarity for success. It is great for balancing our energy out, when we are living too far in the demonizing, or too far in playing good girl roles, as we do sometimes = so natural, so very human. 

But it’s a problem when you’ve been through trauma like I have, because it feeds the black-and-white, extreme thinking that fuels anxiety, driving our nervous system into a dysfunctional mess that won’t allow us to do anything we deeply want to do for our businesses.

Why We Demonize Men

For the longest time, I struggled with this demonizing men thing. I mean, I grew up watching men hurt the women I adored and loved. I also had an experience of being attacked by the quarterback on my high school football team, so badly I nearly died.

So, naturally, when we’ve been through experiences like these, it doesn’t feel right to join the “we are being silly men are just men” way of thinking. Our trauma says that’s not the case at all, not with all men (and our unhealed trauma feels like it IS all men, understandably so!)

But, to complicate things, at the exact same time, something else is telling us that THAT extreme polar opposite isn’t exactly it, either, right? 

It doesn’t quite feel right to live in fear of men, or swoosh a “dangerous” label across all of them, because we know for certain there are amazing, warm, loving men out there who wouldn’t dream of hurting women, even though we might not have experienced them yet.  

I can only speak for myself when I say that I engaged in this kind of thinking, and the behaviours that went along with it, like running away from, shutting down completely from, or going into full attack when I perceived a threat by a man.

Here’s What Helped Me Resolve This. Ready?

We are carrying our own experiences in this lifetime, but also energetic patterns from our ancestors, plus all of human kind.

This means that we have living in our cellular memory, everything that women who were as close to us as our mom went through with men in this lifetime, all the way to ALL WOMEN, in all lifetimes. 

It helps to bless and understand our mothers and grandmothers, for example, who lived in times when many women were trapped in their homes, with violent, controlling men, with literally no way out. 

In Canada, this control over women was engrained in laws that allowed men to hit women with a stick, as long as it was a certain size, approved by law – in case you were wondering how embedded or real their experience was. 

This helps us see where the feminist movement comes from, why it’s so FIRE at times – as well as why old-school mentalities like to shame and try to suppress it, as it tries to keep the “old ways with women” alive.

In this way, we can look at the women in our bloodlines, each and every one, with honour, respecting where they came from, why they were how they were, feel the feelings, release them, then stop carrying any energy that isn’t ours.

The resolution lays in realizing  that it really helps to let go of the energy that isn’t ours, from this lifetime.

To lay down the swords of our ancestors past, with deep respect and utmost honour, always, but lay them down, indeed.

Then get to the work of clearing wounded energy within us, so we can deal with “this lifetime” wounding in ourselves now, then fully restore our cellular beings to the innocent, radiantly alive, powerhouse creative women we were born to be.

You’ve got this, Sister.

I’m with you ALL THE WAY!

XO Gina


If you need urgent medical or psychiatric attention, need help in an emergency or are in crisis:

Visit your local emergency department, general hospital or call 911.

Call your local non-emergency police phone number and ask for victim services.

Google “domestic violence women shelter” for your area – they are open 24 hours and their staff is always ready to handle crisis phone calls. 

Call a CRISIS HOTLINE – they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – there are always warm hearts there to hear you and talk to you. They *really* do help! Here is a list that I have researched for my area: 

-Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 416 863-0511; Toll-free: 1 866 863-0511

-24 Hour Rape Crisis Line: Call 604-872-8212 for free, confidential, phone based crisis intervention, information, and referral.

-Women Against Violence Against Women (WAVAW) Rape Crisis Centre: Call 604-255-6344 or toll free 1-877-392-7583 for confidential, immediate, emotional support, information, referrals, and hospital accompaniment. Available 24 hours a day.

Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) to speak with crisis line workers anytime of the day or night

-Looking for information and support? Call 310-6789 to reach the Mental Health and Information and Support Line, from anywhere in the province. You will receive emotional support, and information on appropriate referral options and a wide range of support relating to mental health concerns.

Published by GinaSilvestri

Success Champion for Women Entrepreneurs Since 2009

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