(THIS IS PART 2 IN THIS SERIES – CLICK HERE FOR PART 1)
Are They Doing It On Purpose?
Believe it or not, some of these toxic personalities are 100% aware of what they are doing.
They design those traps they set, with full awareness, full consciousness. They create confusion on purpose, to keep you off your game, so they maintain power and control over you, and they will go to great extents to do so.
There are some who are not aware of what they are doing, but in those cases, what they are aware of, is that their behaviour, and the impact that their behaviour has on you, gets them what they want. They know it works.
So, they keep provoking, creating confusion—they even speak in a “word salad” way, that is guaranteed to make any human wobble, especially one who is not aware of what is happening.
This is because they are skilled at using your instincts against you, then playing victim the second they get the reaction they were always after, from the get-go.
Rare is the human being who can transcend their powerful biological wiring, and not react. Toxic types have mastered this art of setting you off, this is why most of the literature advising how to have relationships with narcissists, borderlines, socio- and psychopaths says, first and foremost, to just stay away from them.
I’ll be diving deeper into confusion in Part 3 of this series. Right now it’s key to realize that whether they’re aware of what they’re doing or not, these habitual patterns are powerful. They stop at nothing —prisons are full of these toxic types who have committed murder—so we must be aware, and prepared.
Awareness Is Our Greatest Immunity
Learning about these toxic dynamics is the key to staying out of such traps, that end up sucking us dry of our energetic, mental, emotional, financial and even spiritual resources.
First, we must become aware that people like this exist. That there are people out there, with toxic personalities, who are out there in traffic, or in the woods, purposely provoking other drivers, or bears in the forest.
Why do they do this?
They enjoy getting a rise out of people. They enjoy seeing wild reactions. Something inside of them feeds off of erratic, dramatic, adrenaline-raising situations—including the reactive abusive they invoke.
They aren’t going to see your side of things, take responsibility for their provocations, own their patterns, their addictions, their part in creating drama, like we do.They’re just going for your reaction, like sharks on blood.
It’s not just in traffic or nature, either. Women around the world are provoked to the point of bat shit crazy, by men who, consciously or subconsciously, feed off the very wild reactions they provoke.
These women, when not aware of what’s really going on, can then become so ashamed, embarrassed or guilt-ridden because of the way they reacted, that they start wondering if they really are crazy.
All of this is re-affirmed by the social conditioning many women have ingested, and thus have running as programs inside of them, because of the environments they grew up in.
The world socially conditions women to “be nice,” “be graceful,” “be polite” and “be pleasant.” Society literally defines being a woman as having these qualities, amongst many others, including kind, nurturing, giving (endlessly so, without boundary) and forever the humans who rise above, and make nice. As women we are shamed or punished, even called crazy, when we’re not these things, which can solidify and compound the shame and guilt we’re already feeling, from haviging been trapped into deadly guilt from reactive abusive situations by men. This societal conditioning and expectation then leaves us deeper in the trap, than before.
Some of these predatory men thirsting for reactive abuse will even use these very phrases to evoke compliant behaviour from women, because they know saying “be nice” or “be graceful” or or “be polite” or “be pleasant” works on most women. They will tell you to be aa good girl, or be a nice girl, because it gets them to do what they want, in one fell swoop. Using one, efficient little phrase that activates all of our programming, causing us to soldier up into alignment, and do whatever everyone else around us tells us to do.
Then the toxic type returns to playing and painting themselves as the victim to your reaction to being manipulated, threatened, played and trapped, which was pre-planned the entire time, thus creating the greatest mind fuck of all time.
Nothing is more dangerous then when the impact of such toxic connections affect your identity. This is women begin to really lose touch with who they are, what they were born to do in the world, which results in a total depletion of all their resources: time, energy, money, connections, even their vitality and health.
Can You Even Imagine It?
I mean, can you even imagine, consciously, on purpose, setting an actual trap on the ground, with the intention of trapping a woman, and then, when she falls straight into it
—meaning, she is now trapped in a hole in the ground, about to die, so she starts yelling and swearing and freakign out (as any trapped being would)—
then you respond with, “Stop it~ You’re abusing me. I’m gonna call the cops on you.”
This is what these toxic types do.
They know what they’re doing. They want your biological reaction wires to trip. Then they’ll stand aside, feigning innocence, acting confused about why you’re reacting as you are.
Why you are abusing them so bad.
Some of them even call the police, which has happened to me. I’ll share more about this later on in this series.
Does It Get Anymore Twisted Than This?
If you ask me, these toxic types are the most twisted of all twisted, to ever exist in the history of twisted-ness, and while they’re not a majority in numbers, they are out there. On social media sites. On dating apps. Or hunting for women in person in shopping malls, cafes, or night clubs.
Police officers attend to these exact domestic violence situations on the daily, everywhere, across the world.
Newer officers are just as stunned as you may be, reading this right now, because it’s so clear what’s happening. It’s clear that the real abuser in these situations, is the person laying traps, waiting for their inevitable, volatile, biological reaction, so they can get their twisted fill of drama, adrenaline, then blame the victim for this very reaction they set them up for.
The real victim is the person who fell into the trap, and is now being shamed, blamed and counter-attacked, for her inevitable, volatile, biological reaction.
*END OF PART 2*
—We’ll be diving into Part 2 next time, which is about why we get hooked into these relationships, and why we stay in them, even when we know it doesn’t feel right. In the meantime, if you’d like to join my community, to work through this and anything else affecting your path to thriving with money, as you were born to, together, CLICK HERE.
IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND IN A CRISIS SITUATION . . .
PLEASE NOTE THAT BECAUSE I AM A SOLO BUSINESS OWNER WHO DOES NOT OFFER 24 HOURS A DAY CRISIS OR EMERGENCY SUPPORT, I STILL WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE *NEVER* ALONE AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SUPPORT IS OUT THERE FOR YOU.
If you need urgent medical or psychiatric attention, need help in an emergency or are in crisis:
Visit your local emergency department, general hospital or call 911.
Call your local non-emergency police phone number and ask for victim services.
Google “domestic violence women shelter” for your area – they are open 24 hours and their staff is always ready to handle crisis phone calls.
Call a CRISIS HOTLINE – they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – there are always warm hearts there to hear you and talk to you. They *really* do help! Here is a list that I have researched for my area:
-Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 416 863-0511; Toll-free: 1 866 863-0511
-24 Hour Rape Crisis Line: Call 604-872-8212 for free, confidential, phone based crisis intervention, information, and referral.
-Women Against Violence Against Women (WAVAW) Rape Crisis Centre: Call 604-255-6344 or toll free 1-877-392-7583 for confidential, immediate, emotional support, information, referrals, and hospital accompaniment. Available 24 hours a day.