The One Thing I Celebrated HARDER Than My First $30k Week
I’m feeling super excited today.
Isn’t it AMAZING getting to do the work of moving through our old energetic patterns, to create new outcomes, together?
To healthily detach, from our unconscious energetic patterns that have us dancing with money in ways that do not produce the financial outcomes we truly, deeply desire?
Let’s dive straight in, then, to the “rescue me” financial pattern that has affected all of us women at one point or another, and may still be running strong in your energy right now.
When Money Is A Masculine Energy
While I realize that the world is moving away from men being the breadwinners, and women being dependent upon them, I’m in my mid-forties, so in my generation, women my age often have a deep-set energetic association of money with men.
This is because our patterns that were set early on, are literally imprinted into the neuroplasticity of our brains.
Unless we do the inner Rags to Riches work of shifting that, which is what I do in my group programs like Bosses in Pajamas, or my private coaching work, where you get regular touch points, to uproot then re-plant new programs into your brain that produce outcomes you really want, then old patterns just keep running and running and running and running,
—which means you will find yourself in situations you do not want to be in, over and over and over, like Groundhog Day, with money, with men, with everything!
How My “Rescue Me” Pattern Played Out
As you know —unless you’re new to me: in that case HELLO 😀 — my main reason for generating money results I did not want, was past relationship trauma.
I witnessed then experienced physical violence in relationship contexts when I was a little girl, up until the age of 15, which caused me to have relationships ruled by my own trauma reactions, when I set out into the dating world as an adult.
As any girl who had been through the kind of trauma I had been through would, I showed up in my relationships with men in a “rescue me” kind of way.
What I mean is, that if these men I became involved with romantically had money, and offered to pay for things—which, let’s face it, so many men do—then I would go into a state of helplessness, a childlike “I can’t do anything for myself anymore” type of state.
It was an actual regression to an earlier version of myself, who was nurtured and raised with fairy tales.
This state is common, and normal, for women who have been through relational trauma *especially* when said man displays hints of, or ongoing, blatant patterns of aggression toward women.
Such triggers can cause regression, and helplessness, whether the woman is consciously aware of what’s happening, or not.
Of course, until I did this inner Rags to Riches work, those are exactly the kind of men I attracted = aggressive, triggering men, who put me in a state of survival.
My income would go down, because I was exhausted being around them. Yet at the same time I knew no other way to be when I wasn’t around them, so I felt trapped, helpless, hopeless.
It both breaks my heart and fuels my passion to keep empowering women further when I see women all over the internet on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram sharing their stories and saying things like “I can’t leave,” “I am trapped,” “I feel so helpless.”
These are all signs of trauma bonding, which I lived in for a long time. They are not bonds of freedom and love, but exactly the opposite.
If our hearts aren’t yet healed, and open to love our clients and communities hard, our income will reflect that, because we won’t be drawn to it if it doesn’t feel like love. Love is energizing, nourishing, inspiring!
And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say “No, Gina, that’s wrong – women can always leave and should always leave, I don’t agree with them feeling helpless” as a woman recently said to me on a livestream, in response to my explanation of how these women feel, how real this trapped feeling and trauma bonding is, I wouldn’t be one of the best success coaches out there, getting the results that I do, without speaking this truth, either:
All “rescue me” patterns are rooted in subconscious belief systems, that generate feelings that do keep us trapped in situations and behaviours (like staying around toxic people), which create financial lives we do not like.
Doing the inner Rags to Riches work is the way out. Every single time.
The One Thing I Celebrated HARDER Than My 30k Week
Like I always say, “it’s never really about the money” —it’s about the meaning we’ve attached to money, and how we dance through life with it.
Again my Kickass Gina Coach is rising up here, to say, that in no way are we being deluded here, by running a spiritual bypass with beliefs like “we don’t need money anyway” thought because money is a wonderful thing, providing us with:
-options, AKA choice and freedom to choose. When you have enough of it, you never have to ask money for permission to do ANYTHING, again! That feels damn good.
-the ability to write checks to causes we care about in the world, which means the power to make a difference = what our hearts really really care about in life.
-escape from “slavery” work world for good. When we do what we love, and make good money at it, we’re no longer forced to tolerate unhealthy, abusive work environments that again re-inforce the way we grew up, preventing us from achieving outcomes we really want, financially and otherwise.
-(fill in the blanks – it would take me at least 20 more pages to write out the benefits of having financial freedom, so I’ll invite you to define yours, here)
My first $30k sales week did all of this and more – especially the thing I celebrated most, which was, changing this Rescue Me pattern with men into:
-No matter what happens, I can take care of myself.
-I am always ok financially – in fact my natural state is to THRIVE with money.
-I generated what most people generate in a year, IN A WEEK, and I know I can do it again, and again, and again – any time I want, no matter what world economies, or people around me, are doing.
What money can’t do though, is the inner Rags to Riches work of clearing up these sneaky underlying patterns, that take over our entire lives, stopping us from living how we truly desire to live.
So what was the ONE thing that I celebrated harder than my first $30,000. sales week, back in 2014?
It was freedom. Deep, pure, untethered from old patterns….FREEDOM!
A freedom that, for me, encompassed so many things. . . .
Overcoming this “rescue me” pattern — which is exactly what I help women do in the world. It’s my greatest passion, because once you learn how unstoppable your resourcefulness is, including financial resourcefulness, you’ll never mess with anything in life that has you living in ways that oppress, hide, shame, puncture or affect your power to create the life you want, ever again.
The thing I celebrated HARDEST was not living in fear of men, anymore. Not living as if they had power over me. Realizing that yes, while there are predators out there, they are a small portion of the population. That most men, contrary to what my trauma used to have me believe, were not dangerous – they were grounded, loving, supportive beings.
That out of the men who were abusive, in particular the men I was dating, were just riding the fear of men that society created for women, using it to prop themselves up, and hold power and control over me. They were like the Man Behind The Curtain from The Wizard of Oz … a little powerless man, putting on a grandiose show to try to get his way. An illusion. A BS pile of you know what that some women buy into – but we can opt out of any time. We can unsubscribe from their illusions, their delusions, their promises, their fear tactics, their pain-driven, unhealthy ways of living …. and go create health, wealth and everything we desire, for ourselves.
It takes inner work to get here. The work I do in my coaching containers, which you can always look at on my website, HERE.
The “Rescue Me” Pattern We All Have
The “Rescue Me” pattern is one I’ve written and talked about many times before, because it is pervasive in the Western world, for all women who grew up watching fairy tales.
Here’s how it typically goes:
STEP ONE – Woman is in painful situation, that gets more unbearable as her story unfolds.
For Cinderella, for example, her stepmother and stepsisters were cruel to her after her biological mom died. We’re talking daily, purposeful, systemized household, injustices, like Cinderella having to do all the chores, but getting the least of the resources, including food—and not excluding choices of men to , if she got any at all.
STEP TWO – Woman meets man who is a walking representation of “solving all of her problems for her, in one fell swoop.” So she marries him, then they live happily ever after.
Growing up watching stuff like this, it’s no wonder we fall into dependent patterns with men like I did.
It’s a parent-child dynamic, that leaves us helpless, especially if you’ve been through abuse like I have, where the power dynamic was already in the man’s hands to begin with—the fairy tales we grew up with just validate, confirm and keep us in our powerlessness, which only strengthens our energetic patterns, and the outcomes we experience in our lives as a result.
Am I Saying To Never Let Men Financially Support You?
No, no, no.
I see how the feminism pendulum has swung SO FAR to the independent side, so extreme that it can frown upon working together as a team, as a family, where one person (woman or man) stays home, while the other works.
What I want for you, is true choice.
I want you to DO YOU, BOO!
Exactly how you know you were born to do money, relationships, life.
I want total freedom for you.
Not feeling like you HAVE TO live in any other way, than what your heart truly desires.
PS. Are you ready to let go of your “rescue me” pattern, for good? Start by getting your black belt in money confidence in my free course – CLICK HERE.