PHOTO: dust and crumbs and sprays all over my shirt, while cleaning my bathroom with a pen in my boobs (what else is new LMAO) I had that moment I had been waiting for, that no amount of $ could buy, but that doing the very work that created all my money mountains got me to, anyway xo
Be Proud of Yourself
I’ve heard this for years, no decades: take a moment to be proud of yourself.
I tried and tried and tried, year after year after year, but could never FEEL IT.
Not deeply. Not in a truly satisfying way, that kind that reached my soul.
Was there something wrong with me? I wondered.
Do I need more coaching? Different coaching? A therapist?
Something else I wasn’t yet aware of, that could finally “fix myself?”
NO no no, none of that, is what I know now, because none of us are actually broken, in “need” of anything outside ourselves to fix anything- WE ARE POWERFUL BADA@@ES WHO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN … even though we may be in a little (okay, BIG HOT MESSES SOMETIMES 😂 !) slump or two at different times in our lives.
– but today I’m showing you what was really going on with me, that I couldn’t see back then … which might very well be happening to you, right now, too.
It happens for a lot of us on this Rags to Riches track!!!
That is, trying to “be proud of myself” for things other people told me I should be proud of myself for – yet deep down, I really wasn’t.
🏡 the house I live in
(Yes I loved it, but proud?? Nah. Most of the time I was renting!! I’m still renting – a twenty million dollar property, but it’s not mine)
💄 the way my body or face looks
(Yes I love feeling gorgeous and radiant, but I know deep down anything I look like isn’t lasting, I am getting older, no matter what AND with all these filters we use as industry business standards, the photos I take for my business don’t feel 100% the “me” I am lounging around at home, how I look most days anyway!!!)
💍 whether I have a boyfriend or husband or not
(AHEM! I’m not even going “there” 😂 😂 you all know this romantic relationship department is still a work in progress for me)
MY POINT IS … I couldn’t feel proud, deeply proud, with any of the markers around me that were supposed to make me proud. They just weren’t working for me.
Speaking of points …
One day I was cleaning my bathroom and BOOM! It hit me:
I’m really fucking proud of myself right now!
I was being challenged to get frustrated in my romantic relationship, and in that moment, realized that it had been many, many, many, many months since I reacted to my man in the way my wounded self would, who was carrying a lot of unresolved trauma deep inside.
I realized then and there, that I had changed so much.
I was more of the woman I had always wanted to be, more than ever before, in that moment.
I was involved with a man who trapped me in unsafe situations that triggered my Mama Bear instincts or feisty self protective instinct on the regular, and always blamed myself, and believed his abusive lies that I was a horrible, bad person for reacting to these situations by yelling, freaking out, panicking, or threatening to leave him and the relationship.
I felt bad about myself for years because of this … and there, in my bathroom, found myself in a similar situation, but I was reacting different.
This isn’t to say that controlling very normal and natural responses to the traps toxic people like to lay down for us, so they can feed from the emotional drama created (see my series on Reactive Abuse HERE for more on this) – but being able to recognize the signs early on, not fall into the traps, and protect myself with boundaries that I back myself on, with solid strength, as I continued to manage the situation with grace, available only for living in the healthy, empowering, soul-protecting, radiant life I really wanted to be living? With none of my GENERATING power affected?
That was something to fucking celebrate!
SO I TURNED ON SOME MUSIC AND DANCED AND DANCED AND DANCED by myself, because nothing could ever matter more to me.
Not my 30k week, not my 8k cash days or 5k cash days or 1k or 2k cash days, not my 25k cash day —not even a billion dollars.
NOTHING MATTERED MORE TO ME, THAN WHAT MATTERED THE MOST: being a woman who no longer reacted from my wounding, but from my healed, higher self, even in highly triggering situations.
I always wanted it so bad, now I was living it. This grace under fire life.
…nothing tasted sweeter.
Why This Made Me Proud – In A Juicy Way
What society or our parents growing up or anyone around us tells us to be proud of, doesn’t mean it’s deeply meaningful to us.
These things are deeply meaningful to them (or in society’s case big corporation bottom $$$ lines), it’s what makes them proud. What makes them thrive, in the way they define for them, is worthy of doing that.
We’ve got to do our own inner work, if we want to be deeply fulfilled in life. If we want life to feel amazing WHILE those big K days come through – because you can make them feeling like crap about yourself and your life, OR you can make them feeling really really good, in alignment with your deepest integrity, purpose, and joy.
This does take work. Inner work.
Because when we don’t like who we are, or how are being?? It poisons everything.
No quick fixes or society-marketed solutions will work.
Not even winning a billion dollars could fix this.
Only inner work does.
Yes, we start with our desire —that really really matters. I mean, what do you ACTUALLY REALLY WANT for 2022, for example?
Be honest with yourself.
If it’s the 30k sales weeks or 25k cash days you’ve seen my clients and I show we’ve generated here, doing what we love, then there’s nothing wrong with it.
It’s not that the goal of having money or —in fact, we NEVER shame or tell someone they’re wrong for money desires or goals in my community – never, never, never!!!
We just say what we want, claim it and share it with each other in the safe spaces of my community, then roll up our sleeves, and get to the inner work, then action work, of getting that result – the one that makes us really, really, REALLY proud.
PS. OUR 2022 SEASON OF BOSSES IN PAJAMAS IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!!! Watch this space or start watching your free BLACK BELT IN MONEY CONFIDENCE course HERE RIGHT NOW so you can be kept in the loop on my email list. See you there! HERE IS THE LINK AGAIN