🌲 🪑 Come have a seat in my backyard forest energy, as we navigate this whole independent woman vs family goddess dichotomy that all of us powerful women face …
I’m a spiritual woman. I grew up going to a Roman Catholic church most Sundays with my Italian Nonna. In the summer, was bible school, every morning, from ages 5-12.
I’m also a mindset coach, which means I’m a wizard at seeing which mental and emotional patterns (programmed into our beings) are stopping us from reaching our fullest potential in life… that potential being these concrete results that myself and my clients are generating from high ticket sales in our service business, to the tune of $1k days, $5k days, $8k days and even $25k days (cash received, not sales).
Today I want to show you what this mindset work looks like, when it comes to generating these types of results.
To use a personal example from my life, in the religious realm, seeing God as a scary, angry, punishing being coming down from the sky—which is exactly how my children’s bible depicted him—was a program I released from my life. It wasn’t serving me because it made me feel unsafe, with anything “masculine” —which is the energy money has had for decades on our planet. It was also preventing me from staying connected to the beauty of religion and spirituality, that I experienced growing up, then connecting that to money, to add feminine energy to my experience of wealth, which is what allowed me to keep going, to keep thriving, for myself, for my clients, for my community, AND for the people in my personal life who I love and adore.
Last night, in a dream though, I released some judgmental programming that was placed upon me because I was a religious girl, growing up.
“Let it go, let it go” the characters in my dream said.
They wanted me and my Nonna to let go of the tiny cards with photos and messages from Saints on them.
“You don’t need them anymore,” they said.
I’m crying as I type this, because even though “the characters” in my dream that I speak of, were not clear, as in, I did not see faces, or genders, or even silhouettes, I just saw energy, and heard what they were saying —I knew as soon as I woke up what was really going on….
My dream was showing me the moment when I lost a piece of myself, when I was in university out West and was taught that Mother Mary, in her selflessness, in her charity, in her sacrificial nature, was codependent. I took a lot of psychology courses at school, teaching us exactly this.
(I highlighted “out west” here, because my studies were influenced by Western values, including hues of radical feminism.
Feminism is something people could debate all day, but my message here is what my dream revealed for me)
It was showing me that my choice to become a women’s empowerment leader, to right the wrongs I’ve known and seen in the world, like in the case of my coaching business, providing much-needed support, leadership and guidance for women’s financial sovereignty, DOES NOT mean that I also had to detach from Mother Mary’s values, when it comes to how I lived my life every day, when my business doors closed for the evening.
That energy in my dream was basically inviting me to let go of my personal power, my soul strength, my family’s beliefs and values, in exchange for a set of beliefs that saw Mother Mary’s values as codependent, in a “wrong” kind of way — one that separates families fast (not to mention creates separate households around the world, so that more cars, more houses, more furniture and so on, are purchased…but this is a whole other conversation!).
What I want to say here is that, had I kept on going with the independent side of this dichotomy, I would have maintained a detached attitude toward my home life (we do this especially when we have been through trauma in the home, it’s a way of dissociating), which would have left me financially successful, but with a heart that isn’t as FULL as it could be in this life —because while we love the business/financial side of our life purpose work, there’s a whole other half that we get to love too: the personal side of our lives!
Had I kept going on with the dependent side of this dichotomy, I might have given up on the business/financial side of my life purpose and only focused on the personal half of what’s fully available to us, leaving me with a “something is missing” feeling that many of the moms I work with experience. It’s not that they don’t feel fulfilled by their mom role, it’s that they know, instinctively, that there’s a whole other half missing, which could have they themselves, as well as their entire family, thrive in the most fulfilling way possible. I see this with my clients who are moms every day, including one mom who has 8 children.
So in my dream, that moment was being highlighted for me, when I ran full throttle to the other side, the business/financial side, as if the home side did not even exist. My dream showed me this to deepen my awareness of the dichotomy, how it played out in my life, so I can choose which parts of it I want to let go of some more, and which parts of I want to go ALL in with some more—all of which is a sign that I’m releasing more of the generational trauma that had me running the opposite way from focusing more on home than “work” life … which is something to celebrate!
Women have experienced so much trauma that it’s super easy to go from one extreme to the other while they are stepping into the truth of this dichotomy. Over the years, many of us have watched ourselves do exactly this, exactly what I’ve done, which is to play in black-and-white land, going from the fully independent “I don’t need a man ever” zone, to the fully dependent “I can’t survive without a man, even if he’s hurting me” zone.
This is normal when you’ve been through trauma.What really matters is keeping our heart fire and soul fire healthy, alive and LIT as we navigate, sort through, and choose in our fullest power, where our happy medium is.
This is the work I do with women in my coaching programs and containers, and I have spaces opening now as we move into the New Year. We claim what we want, then move through whatever comes up to either be released, play with/explore some more, or dive into deeper, so that we’re all the way in with our life purpose, which always rises everyone in both our personal and professional lives up higher. Sometimes it’s decoding dreams, sometimes its addressing glaring problems in our lives stemming from an imbalance in how we’ve danced with this dichotomy, like not enough money, or not enough love at home, in our relationships, not enough closeness with our families.
If you’re interested in diving deeper into any of these areas, just send me a message on my Instagram account @ragstoricheswithgina have a brief chat, then if we both feel we are a good fit, I can get you on my calendar as early as this week!