BE PROUD OF YOURSELF!

PHOTO: dust and crumbs and sprays all over my shirt, while cleaning my bathroom with a pen in my boobs (what else is new LMAO) I had that moment I had been waiting for, that no amount of $ could buy, but that doing the very work that created all my money mountains got me to, anyway xo 

Be Proud of Yourself

I’ve heard this for years, no decades: take a moment to be proud of yourself.

I tried and tried and tried, year after year after year, but could never FEEL IT.

Not deeply. Not in a truly satisfying way, that kind that reached my soul.

Was there something wrong with me? I wondered.

Do I need more coaching? Different coaching? A therapist? 

Something else I wasn’t yet aware of, that could finally “fix myself?”

NO no no, none of that, is what I know now, because none of us are actually broken, in “need” of anything outside ourselves to fix anything- WE ARE POWERFUL BADA@@ES WHO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN … even though we may be in a little (okay, BIG HOT MESSES SOMETIMES 😂 !) slump or two at different times in our lives.

 – but today I’m showing you what was really going on with me, that I couldn’t see back then … which might very well be happening to you, right now, too.

It happens for a lot of us on this Rags to Riches track!!!

That is, trying to “be proud of myself” for things other people told me I should be proud of myself for – yet deep down, I really wasn’t.

Like ….

🏡 the house I live in 

(Yes I loved it, but proud?? Nah. Most of the time I was renting!! I’m still renting – a twenty million dollar property, but it’s not mine)

💄 the way my body or face looks 

(Yes I love feeling gorgeous and radiant, but I know deep down anything I look like isn’t lasting, I am getting older, no matter what AND with all these filters we use as industry business standards, the photos I take for my business don’t feel 100% the “me” I am lounging around at home, how I look most days anyway!!!)

💍 whether I have a boyfriend or husband or not

(AHEM! I’m not even going “there” 😂 😂 you all know this romantic relationship department is still a work in progress for me)

MY POINT IS … I couldn’t feel proud, deeply proud, with any of the markers around me that were supposed to make me proud. They just weren’t working for me.

Speaking of points … 

Turning Point

One day I was cleaning my bathroom and BOOM! It hit me:

I’m really fucking proud of myself right now!

Why?

I was being challenged to get frustrated in my romantic relationship, and in that moment, realized that it had been many, many, many, many months since I reacted to my man in the way my wounded self would, who was carrying a lot of unresolved trauma deep inside. 

I realized then and there, that I had changed so much. 

I was more of the woman I had always wanted to be, more than ever before, in that moment.

I was involved with a man who trapped me in unsafe situations that triggered my Mama Bear instincts or feisty self protective instinct on the regular, and always blamed myself, and believed his abusive lies that I was a horrible, bad person for reacting to these situations by yelling, freaking out, panicking, or threatening to leave him and the relationship.

I felt bad about myself for years because of this … and there, in my bathroom, found myself in a similar situation, but I was reacting different.

This isn’t to say that controlling very normal and natural responses to the traps toxic people like to lay down for us, so they can feed from the emotional drama created (see my series on Reactive Abuse HERE for more on this) – but being able to recognize the signs early on, not fall into the traps, and protect myself with boundaries that I back myself on, with solid strength, as I continued to manage the situation with grace, available only for living in the healthy, empowering, soul-protecting, radiant life I really wanted to be living? With none of my GENERATING power affected?

That was something to fucking celebrate!

SO I TURNED ON SOME MUSIC AND DANCED AND DANCED AND DANCED by myself, because nothing could ever matter more to me.

Not my 30k week, not my 8k cash days or 5k cash days or 1k or 2k cash days, not my 25k cash day —not even a billion dollars.

NOTHING MATTERED MORE TO ME, THAN WHAT MATTERED THE MOST: being a woman who no longer reacted from my wounding, but from my healed, higher self, even in highly triggering situations.

I always wanted it so bad, now I was living it. This grace under fire life.

…nothing tasted sweeter. 

Why This Made Me Proud – In A Juicy Way

What society or our parents growing up or anyone around us tells us to be proud of, doesn’t mean it’s deeply meaningful to us.

These things are deeply meaningful to them (or in society’s case big corporation bottom $$$ lines), it’s what makes them proud. What makes them thrive, in the way they define for them, is worthy of doing that. 

We’ve got to do our own inner work, if we want to be deeply fulfilled in life. If we want life to feel amazing WHILE those big K days come through – because you can make them feeling like crap about yourself and your life, OR you can make them feeling really really good, in alignment with your deepest integrity, purpose, and joy.

This does take work. Inner work.

Because when we don’t like who we are, or how are being?? It poisons everything.

No quick fixes or society-marketed solutions will work.

Not even winning a billion dollars could fix this.

Only inner work does.

Yes, we start with our desire —that really really matters. I mean, what do you ACTUALLY REALLY WANT for 2022, for example?

Be honest with yourself.

If it’s the 30k sales weeks or 25k cash days you’ve seen my clients and I show we’ve generated here, doing what we love, then there’s nothing wrong with it.

It’s not that the goal of having money or —in fact, we NEVER shame or tell someone they’re wrong for money desires or goals in my community – never, never, never!!!

We just say what we want, claim it and share it with each other in the safe spaces of my community, then roll up our sleeves, and get to the inner work, then action work, of getting that result – the one that makes us really, really, REALLY proud.

~Gina 

PS. OUR 2022 SEASON OF BOSSES IN PAJAMAS IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!!! Watch this space or start watching your free BLACK BELT IN MONEY CONFIDENCE course HERE RIGHT NOW so you can be kept in the loop on my email list. See you there! HERE IS THE LINK AGAIN

Keep Breaking The Silence Like Zac Stacy’s Ex

Those Zac Stacy videos popped up SUDDENLY on a friend’s story yesterday…

It’s a major news item right now. This famous football player assaulting his ex-girlfriend in her home. All caught on video from her home security system.

I watched every single released video and I nearly threw up, right then and there 🤮 🤢 🤢 🤮

No matter how much we heal seeing these injustices against women are nauseating ant infuriating 😡 😡 😡

I know it’s SO HARD to speak out for ourselves sometimes, but breaking the silence around this epidemic is everything. Even calling a crisis line to talk, as a first step, making sure you’re safe of course if you do.

What I know in my gut for sure is:

1. Exposing this behaviour is necessary and, hard as it is to watch: it’s a massive game changer on the domestic violence front, because …

2. More women will be installing and keeping those cameras on in their homes, so that, if and when they’re ready, and if and when they choose (as adults, it’s ALWAYS up to them) they will have them.

💜🙏🏼 Every woman deserves to be and feel safe in this world.

Sending blessings to this woman (his ex) and all women entangled in dynamics with and/or living in terror of a violent man right now. 💜🙏🏼

~Gina

PS …

—————-HELP IS AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW, IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS LIVING WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:

If you need urgent medical or psychiatric attention, need help in an emergency or are in crisis:

Visit your local emergency department, general hospital or call 911.

Call your local non-emergency police phone number and ask for victim services.

Google “domestic violence women shelter” for your area – they are open 24 hours and their staff is always ready to handle crisis phone calls. 

Call a CRISIS HOTLINE – they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – there are always warm hearts there to hear you and talk to you. They *really* do help! Here is a list that I have researched for my area: 

-Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 416 863-0511; Toll-free: 1 866 863-0511

-24 Hour Rape Crisis Line: Call 604-872-8212 for free, confidential, phone based crisis intervention, information, and referral.

-Women Against Violence Against Women (WAVAW) Rape Crisis Centre: Call 604-255-6344 or toll free 1-877-392-7583 for confidential, immediate, emotional support, information, referrals, and hospital accompaniment. Available 24 hours a day.

The One Thing I Celebrated HARDER Than My First $30k Week

The One Thing I Celebrated HARDER Than My First $30k Week

Ladies!!! 

I’m feeling super excited today.

Isn’t it AMAZING getting to do the work of moving through our old energetic patterns, to create new outcomes, together?

To healthily detach, from our unconscious energetic patterns that have us dancing with money in ways that do not produce the financial outcomes we truly, deeply desire?

Let’s dive straight in, then, to the “rescue me” financial pattern that has affected all of us women at one point or another, and may still be running strong in your energy right now.

When Money Is A Masculine Energy

While I realize that the world is moving away from men being the breadwinners, and women being dependent upon them, I’m in my mid-forties, so in my generation, women my age often have a deep-set energetic association of money with men. 

This is because our patterns that were set early on, are literally imprinted into the neuroplasticity of our brains. 

Unless we do the inner Rags to Riches work of shifting that, which is what I do in my group programs like Bosses in Pajamas, or my private coaching work, where you get regular touch points, to uproot then re-plant new programs into your brain that produce outcomes you really want, then old patterns just keep running and running and running and running,

—which means you will find yourself in situations you do not want to be in, over and over and over, like Groundhog Day, with money, with men, with everything! 

How My “Rescue Me” Pattern Played Out

As you know —unless you’re new to me: in that case HELLO 😀 — my main reason for generating money results I did not want, was past relationship trauma. 

I witnessed then experienced physical violence in relationship contexts when I was a little girl, up until the age of 15, which caused me to have relationships ruled by my own trauma reactions, when I set out into the dating world as an adult.  

As any girl who had been through the kind of trauma I had been through would, I showed up in my relationships with men in a “rescue me” kind of way. 

What I mean is, that if these men I became involved with romantically had money, and offered to pay for things—which, let’s face it, so many men do—then I would go into a state of helplessness, a childlike “I can’t do anything for myself anymore” type of state.


It was an actual regression to an earlier version of myself, who was nurtured and raised with fairy tales.

This state is common, and normal, for women who have been through relational trauma *especially* when said man displays hints of, or ongoing, blatant patterns of aggression toward women.

Such triggers can cause regression, and helplessness, whether the woman is consciously aware of what’s happening, or not.

Of course, until I did this inner Rags to Riches work, those are exactly the kind of men I attracted = aggressive, triggering men, who put me in a state of survival.

My income would go down, because I was exhausted being around them. Yet at the same time I knew no other way to be when I wasn’t around them, so I felt trapped, helpless, hopeless.

It both breaks my heart and fuels my passion to keep empowering women further when I see women all over the internet on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram sharing their stories and saying things like “I can’t leave,” “I am trapped,” “I feel so helpless.” 

These are all signs of trauma bonding, which I lived in for a long time. They are not bonds of freedom and love, but exactly the opposite.

If our hearts aren’t yet healed, and open to love our clients and communities hard, our income will reflect that, because we won’t be drawn to it if it doesn’t feel like love. Love is energizing, nourishing, inspiring!

And while I wouldn’t go so far as to say “No, Gina, that’s wrong – women can always leave and should always leave, I don’t agree with them feeling helpless” as a woman recently said to me on a livestream, in response to my explanation of how these women feel, how real this trapped feeling and trauma bonding is, I wouldn’t be one of the best success coaches out there, getting the results that I do, without speaking this truth, either:

All “rescue me” patterns are rooted in subconscious belief systems, that generate feelings that do keep us trapped in situations and behaviours (like staying around toxic people), which create financial lives we do not like.

Doing the inner Rags to Riches work is the way out. Every single time.

The One Thing I Celebrated HARDER Than My 30k Week

Like I always say, “it’s never really about the money” —it’s about the meaning we’ve attached to money, and how we dance through life with it. 

Again my Kickass Gina Coach is rising up here, to say, that in no way are we being deluded here, by running a spiritual bypass with beliefs like “we don’t need money anyway” thought because money is a wonderful thing, providing us with:

-options, AKA choice and freedom to choose. When you have enough of it, you never have to ask money for permission to do ANYTHING, again! That feels damn good. 

-the ability to write checks to causes we care about in the world, which means the power to make a difference = what our hearts really really care about in life.

-escape from “slavery” work world for good. When we do what we love, and make good money at it, we’re no longer forced to tolerate unhealthy, abusive work environments that again re-inforce the way we grew up, preventing us from achieving outcomes we really want, financially and otherwise. 

-(fill in the blanks – it would take me at least 20 more pages to write out the benefits of having financial freedom, so I’ll invite you to define yours, here)

My first $30k sales week did all of this and more – especially the thing I celebrated most, which was, changing this Rescue Me pattern with men into:

-No matter what happens, I can take care of myself.

-I am always ok financially – in fact my natural state is to THRIVE with money.

-I generated what most people generate in a year, IN A WEEK, and I know I can do it again, and again, and again – any time I want, no matter what world economies, or people around me, are doing.

What money can’t do though, is the inner Rags to Riches work of clearing up these sneaky underlying patterns, that take over our entire lives, stopping us from living how we truly desire to live.

So what was the ONE thing that I celebrated harder than my first $30,000. sales week, back in 2014?

It was freedom. Deep, pure, untethered from old patterns….FREEDOM!

A freedom that, for me, encompassed so many things. . . .

Overcoming this “rescue me” pattern — which is exactly what I help women do in the world. It’s my greatest passion, because once you learn how unstoppable your resourcefulness is, including financial resourcefulness, you’ll never mess with anything in life that has you living in ways that oppress, hide, shame, puncture or affect your power to create the life you want, ever again.

The thing I celebrated HARDEST was not living in fear of men, anymore. Not living as if they had power over me. Realizing that yes, while there are predators out there, they are a small portion of the population. That most men, contrary to what my trauma used to have me believe, were not dangerous – they were grounded, loving, supportive beings.

That out of the men who were abusive, in particular the men I was dating, were just riding the fear of men that society created for women, using it to prop themselves up, and hold power and control over me. They were like the Man Behind The Curtain from The Wizard of Oz … a little powerless man, putting on a grandiose show to try to get his way. An illusion. A BS pile of you know what that some women buy into – but we can opt out of any time. We can unsubscribe from their illusions, their delusions, their promises, their fear tactics, their pain-driven, unhealthy ways of living …. and go create health, wealth and everything we desire, for ourselves.

It takes inner work to get here. The work I do in my coaching containers, which you can always look at on my website, HERE.

The “Rescue Me” Pattern We All Have

The “Rescue Me” pattern is one I’ve written and talked about many times before, because it is pervasive in the Western world, for all women who grew up watching fairy tales.

Here’s how it typically goes: 

STEP ONE – Woman is in painful situation, that gets more unbearable as her story unfolds. 

For Cinderella, for example, her stepmother and stepsisters were cruel to her after her biological mom died. We’re talking daily, purposeful, systemized household, injustices, like Cinderella having to do all the chores, but getting the least of the resources, including food—and not excluding choices of men to , if she got any at all.

STEP TWO – Woman meets man who is a walking representation of “solving all of her problems for her, in one fell swoop.” So she marries him, then they live happily ever after. 

Growing up watching stuff like this, it’s no wonder we fall into dependent patterns with men like I did. 

It’s a parent-child dynamic, that leaves us helpless, especially if you’ve been through abuse like I have, where the power dynamic was already in the man’s hands to begin with—the fairy tales we grew up with just validate, confirm and keep us in our powerlessness, which only strengthens our energetic patterns, and the outcomes we experience in our lives as a result.  

Am I Saying To Never Let Men Financially Support You?

No, no, no. 

Absolutely not.

I see how the feminism pendulum has swung SO FAR to the independent side, so extreme that it can frown upon working together as a team, as a family, where one person (woman or man) stays home, while the other works.

What I want for you, is true choice.

I want you to DO YOU, BOO!

Exactly how you know you were born to do money, relationships, life.

I want total freedom for you.

Not feeling like you HAVE TO live in any other way, than what your heart truly desires.

~Gina

PS. Are you ready to let go of your “rescue me” pattern, for good? Start by getting your black belt in money confidence in my free course – CLICK HERE.

Ready For More Love?

WHAT ARE YOU READY TO POUR MORE LOVE INTO?

EEEE!! I’m so excited!!

That NOW it’s time to love my body more than ever before 💚

Lately I’ve been tuning into how neglecting physical pain in my body, starting with a running injury years ago, is what has skyrocketed my weight on the bathroom scale.

….and of course I’ve been sharing it all with the internet 🤣🤣😂🤣 because it’s what we healers and light frequency raisers do.

I was ignoring dealing with my physical pain, because I was so immersed in Eastern healing and spirituality, that my resistance to anything Western medicine was at an all time high.

Ignoring, not dealing, pretending it would heal itself over time … which cannot happen where there’s a lack of loving presence and attention to the thing crying out for help. In this case my fractures, sprains, and structural bone stuff.

THEN in all my ignoring of it, refusing to return to my natural level of athleticism, came problems of immobility: fascia tightness in my feet and legs, hard balls of fascia build up, weak weak muscles, and more pain then ever before.

This whole time I just kept “hoping” it would all resolve as I followed my bliss with my business. Watching myself and my people I serve make more money than ever before on our Rags to Riches journey together, doing exactly what we love.

Talk about high frequency!! It is and always was!! Always will be 💚 yet this ignoring kept going on and on and on …

It was just so easy for me to do. I mean my whole business can be run from my bed when my pain gets really bad.

Plus, since I don’t drink or drug, slipping into extra foods or the wrong kind of foods for my body —especially as our social life diminished during the pandemic, and we started turning to both homemade and delivery food as fun — to fill those social needs—using food to numb all the pain got so easy. It became so acceptable, so normal, I barely even noticed I was doing it.

So my weight increased year after year as the real “problem” underneath was a love desire, wanting to feel fulfilled, so deeply loved, so deeply connected — why aren’t physical trainers and weight loss coaches talking about THIS I wonder? 🤔

I’m so grateful to be surrounded by this kind of love in my mentors, my friends, my new connections I’m consciously making every day.

The kind of love that just pours in with presence — the exact work my clients end students and I do behind the scenes daily, to produce such phenomenal financial results.

The kind of love that doesn’t see weight or the world splitting up our people connections as any type of brokenness, or “problem” — just something to pay attention to, pour our magic onto.

Moving through the motions, together.

Dancing with the free-flowing ever present energy that is love

—which sees no “brokenness” or “problem” at all—

only something to get aligned with, if we will just tune in 💚

I’m so ready.

Are you?

~Gina

PS. If you’re not focused on allowing physical body resolutions like I am right now, and $$$ is your area, pop into my free course where you’ll get your black belt in money confidence! ⭐️ CLICK HERE ⭐️

Reactive Abuse and Money – Part 3

(THIS IS PART 2 IN THIS SERIES – CLICK HERE FOR PART 2)

Confusion Is The Worst

My main goal in this blog series on reactive abuse, is to clear the inevitable confusion that results from being connected to a toxic personality.

Confusion is what keeps women off centre, and out of their power.

When we are confused, we can’t see what’s really going on, or how we are being played. 

We can’t even think straight, let alone make the best decision for ourselves in a grounded, decisive, calm, logical way.

Instead, we’re living in a state of confusion, with high levels of cognitive dissonance, because we know deep down that we are really meant to be moving through life radiantly alive, clear, focused, on purpose—like the Badass Rags to Riches Queens we were born to be.

Something inside of us tells us this connection isn’t right, but the constant drama and ensuing exhaustion, has us stuck in them, indefinitely—until we do the work to become aware, heal, and become a solid source of immunity against toxic people.

Guilt & Shame Trap Us Even More

I met a man on an online dating site many years ago who was a master at this reactive abuse dynamic. I fell in love fast, committed way too fast, then found myself living with the wreckage caused by his toxic trait of laying these reactive abuse traps before me, for years — not to mention the years it took to heal and recover, after I left. 

It wasn’t until I could see how making my own shame and guilt caused by my reactive abuse—which was me acting out of my usual character— meant that there was something wrong with me.


I was making my normal reaction to abuse wrong, because I couldn’t see that it was a normal reaction. I only saw me being the opposite of a good girl, a good girlfriend, a good future “wife to be” and this poisoned my self-esteem for a long time. 

Without this awareness, guilt and shame for our reactive abuse behaviour keeps us stuck in relationships like these. The toxic type counts on our negative self-identity to keep control and power of us, so we must clear this up, in order to be free.

The most important thing to clear, as Badass Rags to Riches women though, is how this affects our identity as a women. 

When we feel like crap about ourselves, or start to take on the vile words these toxic men say to us on as the truth, which is what obliterates our self-esteem, and our belief in ourselves, then we put our vital health, including our emotional, mental, spiritual, physical and financial health, in danger.  

Trying to show up as a powerful leader for the communities we lead, for example, while dealing with stuff like this behind the scenes, makes us feel like horrible, two-faced abusive human beings —and guess who will be right there to tell you just that?

Things toxic types regularly say to attack your self worth:

“You’re a terrible human being.”

“You’re a horrible human being.”

“What will the world would think when they find out what you’re really like?”

When we’re not aware of the agenda behind such shame-inducing statements, we will eventually be left with no community, no energy, no magnetism, and no self- esteem to show up as the leaders we were born to be.

—Stay tuned for Part 4 next, where I talk about how empaths can handle reactive abuse in an empowered way plus the “controversy” surrounding reactive abuse.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND IN A CRISIS SITUATION . . .

PLEASE NOTE THAT BECAUSE I AM A SOLO BUSINESS OWNER WHO DOES NOT OFFER 24 HOURS A DAY CRISIS OR EMERGENCY SUPPORT, I STILL WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE *NEVER* ALONE AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SUPPORT IS OUT THERE FOR YOU.

If you need urgent medical or psychiatric attention, need help in an emergency or are in crisis:

Visit your local emergency department, general hospital or call 911.

Call your local non-emergency police phone number and ask for victim services.

Google “domestic violence women shelter” for your area – they are open 24 hours and their staff is always ready to handle crisis phone calls. 

Call a CRISIS HOTLINE – they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – there are always warm hearts there to hear you and talk to you. They *really* do help! Here is a list that I have researched for my area: 

-Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 416 863-0511; Toll-free: 1 866 863-0511

-24 Hour Rape Crisis Line: Call 604-872-8212 for free, confidential, phone based crisis intervention, information, and referral.

-Women Against Violence Against Women (WAVAW) Rape Crisis Centre: Call 604-255-6344 or toll free 1-877-392-7583 for confidential, immediate, emotional support, information, referrals, and hospital accompaniment. Available 24 hours a day.

Reactive Abuse and Money – Part 2

(THIS IS PART 2 IN THIS SERIES – CLICK HERE FOR PART 1)

Are They Doing It On Purpose?

Believe it or not, some of these toxic personalities are 100% aware of what they are doing. 

They design those traps they set, with full awareness, full consciousness. They create confusion on purpose, to keep you off your game, so they maintain power and control over you, and they will go to great extents to do so.

There are some who are not aware of what they are doing, but in those cases, what they are aware of, is that their behaviour, and the impact that their behaviour has on you, gets them what they want. They know it works.

So, they keep provoking, creating confusion—they even speak in a “word salad” way, that is guaranteed to make any human wobble, especially one who is not aware of what is happening.

This is because they are skilled at using your instincts against you, then playing victim the second they get the reaction they were always after, from the get-go.

Rare is the human being who can transcend their powerful biological wiring, and not react. Toxic types have mastered this art of setting you off, this is why most of the literature advising how to have relationships with narcissists, borderlines, socio- and psychopaths says, first and foremost, to just stay away from them.

I’ll be diving deeper into confusion in Part 3 of this series. Right now it’s key to realize that whether they’re aware of what they’re doing or not, these habitual patterns are powerful. They stop at nothing —prisons are full of these toxic types who have committed murder—so we must be aware, and prepared.

Awareness Is Our Greatest Immunity

Learning about these toxic dynamics is the key to staying out of such traps, that end up sucking us dry of our energetic, mental, emotional, financial and even spiritual resources.

First, we must become aware that people like this exist. That there are people out there, with toxic personalities, who are out there in traffic, or in the woods, purposely provoking other drivers, or bears in the forest.

Why do they do this?

They enjoy getting a rise out of people. They enjoy seeing wild reactions. Something inside of them feeds off of erratic, dramatic, adrenaline-raising situations—including the reactive abusive they invoke.

They aren’t going to see your side of things, take responsibility for their provocations, own their patterns, their addictions, their part in creating drama, like we do.They’re just going for your reaction, like sharks on blood.

It’s not just in traffic or nature, either. Women around the world are provoked to the point of bat shit crazy, by men who, consciously or subconsciously, feed off the very wild reactions they provoke.

These women, when not aware of what’s really going on, can then become so ashamed, embarrassed or guilt-ridden because of the way they reacted, that they start wondering if they really are crazy.

All of this is re-affirmed by the social conditioning many women have ingested, and thus have running as programs inside of them, because of the environments they grew up in.

The world socially conditions women to “be nice,” “be graceful,” “be polite” and “be pleasant.” Society literally defines being a woman as having these qualities, amongst many others, including kind, nurturing, giving (endlessly so, without boundary) and forever the humans who rise above, and make nice. As women we are shamed or punished, even called crazy, when we’re not these things, which can solidify and compound the shame and guilt we’re already feeling, from haviging been trapped into deadly guilt from reactive abusive situations by men. This societal conditioning and expectation then leaves us deeper in the trap, than before.

Some of these predatory men thirsting for reactive abuse will even use these very phrases to evoke compliant behaviour from women, because they know saying “be nice” or “be graceful” or or “be polite” or “be pleasant” works on most women. They will tell you to be aa good girl, or be a nice girl, because it gets them to do what they want, in one fell swoop. Using one, efficient little phrase that activates all of our programming, causing us to soldier up into alignment, and do whatever everyone else around us tells us to do.

Then the toxic type returns to playing and painting themselves as the victim to your reaction to being manipulated, threatened, played and trapped, which was pre-planned the entire time, thus creating the greatest mind fuck of all time. 

Nothing is more dangerous then when the impact of such toxic connections affect your identity. This is women begin to really lose touch with who they are, what they were born to do in the world, which results in a total depletion of all their resources: time, energy, money, connections, even their vitality and health.

Can You Even Imagine It?

I mean, can you even imagine, consciously, on purpose, setting an actual trap on the ground, with the intention of trapping a woman, and then, when she falls straight into it

—meaning, she is now trapped in a hole in the ground, about to die, so she starts yelling and swearing and freakign out (as any trapped being would)—

then you respond with, “Stop it~ You’re abusing me. I’m gonna call the cops on you.”

This is what these toxic types do.

They know what they’re doing. They want your biological reaction wires to trip. Then they’ll stand aside, feigning innocence, acting confused about why you’re reacting as you are. 

Why you are abusing them so bad.

Some of them even call the police, which has happened to me. I’ll share more about this later on in this series.

Does It Get Anymore Twisted Than This?

If you ask me, these toxic types are the most twisted of all twisted, to ever exist in the history of twisted-ness, and while they’re not a majority in numbers, they are out there. On social media sites. On dating apps. Or hunting for women in person in shopping malls, cafes, or night clubs.

Police officers attend to these exact domestic violence situations on the daily, everywhere, across the world.

Newer officers are just as stunned as you may be, reading this right now, because it’s so clear what’s happening. It’s clear that the real abuser in these situations, is the person laying traps, waiting for their inevitable, volatile, biological reaction, so they can get their twisted fill of drama, adrenaline, then blame the victim for this very reaction they set them up for.

The real victim is the person who fell into the trap, and is now being shamed, blamed and counter-attacked, for her inevitable, volatile, biological reaction. 

*END OF PART 2*

—We’ll be diving into Part 2 next time, which is about why we get hooked into these relationships, and why we stay in them, even when we know it doesn’t feel right. In the meantime, if you’d like to join my community, to work through this and anything else affecting your path to thriving with money, as you were born to, together, CLICK HERE.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND IN A CRISIS SITUATION . . .

PLEASE NOTE THAT BECAUSE I AM A SOLO BUSINESS OWNER WHO DOES NOT OFFER 24 HOURS A DAY CRISIS OR EMERGENCY SUPPORT, I STILL WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE *NEVER* ALONE AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SUPPORT IS OUT THERE FOR YOU.

If you need urgent medical or psychiatric attention, need help in an emergency or are in crisis:

Visit your local emergency department, general hospital or call 911.

Call your local non-emergency police phone number and ask for victim services.

Google “domestic violence women shelter” for your area – they are open 24 hours and their staff is always ready to handle crisis phone calls. 

Call a CRISIS HOTLINE – they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – there are always warm hearts there to hear you and talk to you. They *really* do help! Here is a list that I have researched for my area: 

-Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 416 863-0511; Toll-free: 1 866 863-0511

-24 Hour Rape Crisis Line: Call 604-872-8212 for free, confidential, phone based crisis intervention, information, and referral.

-Women Against Violence Against Women (WAVAW) Rape Crisis Centre: Call 604-255-6344 or toll free 1-877-392-7583 for confidential, immediate, emotional support, information, referrals, and hospital accompaniment. Available 24 hours a day.

Reactive Abuse and Money Series – Part 1

Good Day Community 😃♥️ !

There are certain people out there who, when we let them, will play our empathic energies like violins, creating music that has us running the wrong way on our Rags to Riches journey, which is straight back to that “rags” life that caused so much suffering.

Last month, I started writing about toxic personalities, and how our connections with them affect our Rags to Riches journey.

I originally started these conversations during Domestic Violence Awareness month, but I’ve decided to keep them going, all year, whenever I feel inspired.

Today is one of those days. We’re pulling our money manifesting power back in from sources that have taken it from us, consciously, or unconsciously.

The toxic personality type doing the kind of pulling that we’re addressing in this series today, is one that uses reactive abuse to control us.

I’ll be demonstrating, with examples, how reactive abuse works, and what havoc it can wreak when we’re not aware and equipped to manage it like the Rags to Riches Queens we were born to be, and of course, what to do about it.

Just keep this one thing in mind, before we start: abuse is never about money, sex, or obsessive love or anything the movies or these personalities try to convince us their behaviour is about—it’s about power and control, every time.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

What Is Reactive Abuse?

Have you ever found yourself yelling or calling someone names “out of nowhere?”

Meaning, you’re not normally someone who loses her cool like this, but it came up and out of you, in a certain situation, shocking even yourself with its power, its force, and yes, what would be, in any other context, considered “abusive” quality.

Context is key here though, because in order for it to be considered reactive abuse, you must be reacting to someone else’s behaviour.

Being cut off in traffic, in a way that nearly causes an accident, is a situation we can all relate to, that generates our “out of character” reactions.

In this traffic situation, if you really were cut off, and your life really was threatened, in your perception, then most people would understand, and think nothing of, your reaction. Right?

It’s because of these circumstances, that, while it’s up to us to keep a healthy distance from people who provoke us, and we are responsible for our own behaviour, always, and in all ways, psychology and even the law will give us a pass, in certain situations.

These are the exact behaviours I’m writing about today—the ones that set you up to behave in what would otherwise be considered “abusive”(and even unlawful) ways.

That is reactive abuse. It’s you reacting, to a “set up” by a toxic person—whether that trap was laid on purpose, or accidentally/unconsciously, due to an unconscious abuse pattern he or she has playing out in their energy.

I’ll give you more examples throughout the rest of this series, but for now, another concrete example from nature, is that of a Mama Bear, whose cubs are threatened.

When cubs are threatened in any way, shape or form, a healthy Mama Bear goes “no holds barred” ape-shit bananas on whomever is threatening them. She is out for blood, for death. She will kill to protect her young.

Why?

Because she is wired that way. Everything in her biology will have her reacting in this way, when her babies are threatened. Expecting her to act any other way is what’s unfair, wrong, and yes, abusive.

*END OF PART 1*

—We’ll be diving into Part 2 next time, which is all about laying traps for such reactive abuse, “on purpose.” In the meantime, if you’d like to join my community, to work through this and anything else affecting your path to thriving with money, as you were born to, together, CLICK HERE.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND IN A CRISIS SITUATION . . .

PLEASE NOTE THAT BECAUSE I AM A SOLO BUSINESS OWNER WHO DOES NOT OFFER 24 HOURS A DAY CRISIS OR EMERGENCY SUPPORT, I STILL WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE *NEVER* ALONE AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SUPPORT IS OUT THERE FOR YOU.

If you need urgent medical or psychiatric attention, need help in an emergency or are in crisis:

Visit your local emergency department, general hospital or call 911.

Call your local non-emergency police phone number and ask for victim services.

Google “domestic violence women shelter” for your area – they are open 24 hours and their staff is always ready to handle crisis phone calls. 

Call a CRISIS HOTLINE – they are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – there are always warm hearts there to hear you and talk to you. They *really* do help! Here is a list that I have researched for my area: 

-Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 416 863-0511; Toll-free: 1 866 863-0511

-24 Hour Rape Crisis Line: Call 604-872-8212 for free, confidential, phone based crisis intervention, information, and referral.

-Women Against Violence Against Women (WAVAW) Rape Crisis Centre: Call 604-255-6344 or toll free 1-877-392-7583 for confidential, immediate, emotional support, information, referrals, and hospital accompaniment. Available 24 hours a day.

Turning Our Disabilities Into Financial Harmony

TURNING OUR DISABILITIES INTO FINANCIAL HARMONY 

For the better part of my forty-six years of life, I’ve been shy in the romance department, due to a near-death experience I had at fifteen years old, which was a violent attack by a man, leaving me with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

To say the least, I wasn’t about to be running toward any romantic relationship or marriage any time soon after that. 

Of course I wasn’t. Of course you weren’t either, if you’ve ever been through anything like that, too.

To say the most (say more say more 😂 ) I was terrified of men after that experience, and because I was so young, it generalized out toward all people. 

As a child, whose brain is still developing, which mine still was, our brains are engaged in concrete thinking the most. So, in my brain, it looked like this: “if one human being is capable of threatening my life, then all people are.” 

I had witnessed violence in my family previous to my near-death experience, that solidified this social fear as a teen, too.

So it was going to take time for me to trust men, or any human being, again.

Shyness with people became my way. When I wasn’t getting drunk or going to dance clubs with the friends I did have from school, I preferred nature and the company of animals, over people.

Meantime my emotional and social experience of life was much like that of a burn victim’s physical experience of life:

-I was extremely sensitive.

-I was always on edge, especially if a man was trying to court me.

-I felt helpless, a lot, so my relationships tended to be like parent-child/codependent/caregiver-patient type relationships. 

It’s hard to mature, and evolve into your next level of life when every emotion moving through you is like the wind blowing on raw, open skin.

You can’t even think, let alone self-actualize.

Unless you study emotional health specifically, or grow up with parents who did, emotional lability is not something people understand readily, so when someone is emotionally reactive, as many people with PTSD are, their loved ones take it personally, then naturally distance themselves, leaving the afflicted person with even more proof that connecting with people is a bad idea. 

I felt helpless. Weird. Different. Broken. Like I was missing something that everyone else had. 

And because PTSD is considered a disability in most countries, I now had an official label slapped on me. Disabled. Defunct. Not functioning—that is how I felt, after being highly sociable in elementary school and the first part of high school, winning regional public speaking competitions for my school, maintaining an A average in school.


I internalized and lived with that identity for a long time 😩 

It took me years to resolve those wounds enough to restore myself back to a naturally sociable state.

It was my period of mastering the art of turning our disabilities into financial harmony.

Are you ready for yours, too?

I had heard for years that the key to happiness was to appreciate what we have, that stuff that is *not* the trauma, in our lives.

Because my trauma happened at such a young age, I needed to go through a period when my trauma was all-consuming, before I could begin to appreciate what else my life was for, what joy, abundance, and the fulfillment I had always experienced in creating success for myself, was still available to me—like in my school, my cousins, my friends, my soccer team, for example.

Full presence with our traumas as we heal them is the first step. Then we move into a phase of seeing our so-called disabilities, as a difference, a uniqueness – one that is not bad, but beautiful! And very much needed in the world.

For me, that looked like starting to appreciate my sensitivities, my connection to nature, and using my natural, empathic qualities for good, to help others, while finding appreciation and enjoyment in my qualities, myself.

My regular focus on appreciation and my consistent practice of it, then allowed me to return to who I was before the traumas, with even more joy, abundance, and success than ever before.

This is possible for you, too – no matter what your past traumas look like.

We can do this, together.

Send me a message OR CLICK HERE if you’d like to talk about private 1:1 coaching with me. I’m opening up three new spaces for the fast approaching New Year’s Resolution season.

Let’s go!

~Gina